"And there's nothing cold as ashes after the fire is gone."

Ahh, Conway and Loretta. No truer words have been spoken. I sit here typing this blog, feeling drained, defeated, and downright down.

I don't understand why I'm feeling this defeated. I don't want to. I want to be a happy person who just wants to paint, raise puppies, and ride off in the sunset with good 'ol Prince Charming.

I also just wanted a fabulous recruitment with no issues. Bah, that was a nice dream back at DLC when I got conned into taking the job. Now here we are: I have a week. Less than a week, a week from yesterday. I'm being forced to make decisions that go against my better judgement because it's "for the best". Great. I'm a very analytical person. I analyze every aspect of what COULD happen if a particular decision is made- and there is a good chance I'll be right about it. I'm very empathetic and I'm emotional, but that's what makes me good at what I do. I have a ton of creative energy that has been all but depleted. I can't even paint right now. In lieu of my previous positivity, I'm just counting down the days till Bid Day... At which point I'm on vacation.

In other news.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. No, seriously. Stop it. You are ruining your life. You're an idiot, and so is he for asking. And no one rushes into a decision like that without extenuating circumstances. Ever. End of rant.

Yep.